Grandma tell me a story. Actually, Grandma tell me your story.
Paati, oru kathai sollunga. illai, paati, unga kathaiyai sollunga.
A kindergarten teacher’s narrative about enduring a heartwarming friendship with senior friends in a local community.
As I stood in front of a large vacant land, I recall being grateful and filled with anticipation that I would soon become part of a hub where children learn, families meet, and the community would come together to connect and collaborate. The future looked promising in this upcoming community. My wish was for this place to become an inclusive space for everyone to appreciate the value of togetherness and create meaningful memories.
A few months after opening the kindergarten located within this community centre, I noticed a group of six senior residents enjoying each other’s company in the community foyer. Every Tuesday, they would sit around a table – talking, laughing, sipping a cup of tea, nibbling biscuits, knitting, sewing, crafting, and probably reminiscing about life. Each time I walked across the foyer, I wanted to sit with them, listen to their conversations, talk and learn from them. They reminded me of my Amma, who lived alone in India and made my heart ache, wishing that Amma had someone like them in her life.
It proved to be challenging as the seniors avoided making eye contact with me. In a few weeks’ time, I could no longer keep wondering about how their response would be if I approached them. I had to try and find out for myself.
Anxiously, one Tuesday morning, I approached them and said hello. I introduced myself as the kindergarten teacher. They were courteous, but after giving quick responses to my questions, it was obvious that they were unsure of my intentions and seemed uncomfortable being disturbed. I wondered if the six elegant white women in front of me saw me as an Indian woman with a strong Indian accent and perhaps a hidden agenda.
The whole week, I could not stop thinking about things I could do to break the ice and establish friendship with them. I was convinced that if I got it right, starting this connection would open wonderful possibilities and transform all our lives.
Finally, my heart, not my brain, started to work. The answer was staring at me. Our kinder children! Who could resist a child’s genuine smile?
During morning group time on Tuesday, I explained to my kinder friends that we would be visiting some grandmas in the foyer to find out who they are and what they are doing.
This started some interesting discussions during our group time.
“My grandma lives far, far away!” “I have two grandmas!” “My grandma is in heaven!” “My grandma has a big house!” “My grandma has false teeth!” “She has silver hair!”
Grandmas were busy chatting and working on their projects when we all reached the foyer.
“Ready, one, two, three!” I said quietly.
“HELLLOOOO!!!!” greeted kinder friends loudly.
All grandmas turned around, and we walked up to them.
“What are you doing?” the children asked curiously.
“We came to annoy you!” I added.
We finally had the most awaited breakthrough. Yes, their faces lit up, and they laughed and started talking to all our kinder friends and sharing their beautiful, creative masterpieces. We learnt their names. We asked if it was okay to address them as “grandma”. We requested if we could visit them every Tuesday. They agreed to all our requests.
Thus, a wonderful journey began, and the relationship grew steadily between the grandmas, children, kindergarten community and educators.
Grandmas became part of our life – celebrating events such as Mother’s Day with us, reading books for our kinder friends, knitting animal soft toys for us, sharing their milestone birthdays and updating us about their artistic work every week. Kindergarten children also reciprocated by making cards, giving them presents, appreciating their work, singing songs that they learnt at kindergarten and letting their family know all about the special senior friends they meet every Tuesday.
This relationship continued steadily and my rapport with the grandmas continued to become strong and extended beyond the community foyer space. This included visiting grandmas when they were unwell, going to cafés with them, and checking in on them if they were not at kindergarten on a Tuesday. They became a special part of my life.
Two years later, I was reflecting on this special friendship and realised something. In front of me was a wealth of knowledge, experience, journey and stories to learn from. Every grandma IS a story.
I asked the grandmas if they were okay to share their story with our community. Grandmas were delighted and were happy to share important events, photos, handwritten reflections and wonderful memories from their amazing life.
“GRANDMA TELL ME A STORY…ACTUALLY…GRANDMA TELL ME YOUR STORY” was the title of the exhibition. This was the least I could do for our grandmas to show them how much they mean to me.
Children, families, community members and our teaching team thoroughly enjoyed looking at the display and learning about our grandmas. Our grandmas were thrilled with the exhibition and the positive responses they received from everyone.
“What do you want us to learn from you?” I asked when the exhibition concluded.
“Be grateful. Be happy. Be helpful. Stay healthy.”
Very simple, yet a powerful message from grandmas who continue to live life meaningfully.
There is something we can all learn from our elders.
Intergenerational connections strengthen community – A wonderful opportunity for both children and seniors to engage in meaningful relationships to foster empathy and understanding. Some grandmas do not have grandchildren, and some kinder friends do not have grandparents living in Australia. Every meeting is filled with laughter and happiness for everyone.
Social interactions – Staying connected is an important part of staying healthy for our senior friends and as we age, it is something we should try and do.
Active minds – All grandmas share their interest in knitting and sewing with each other and maintain this interest to stay positive and motivated. We need to find things that interest us and keep ourselves motivated.
Supporting each other – Grandmas support each other by car-pooling, as some of them are unable to drive. We can check in on our senior neighbours or relatives regularly and offer assistance where possible.
Cultivating empathy in children – As parents and teachers, we should role model, create opportunities and support our children to be compassionate and show respect to our elders.
Spending quality time – Talking, listening and making our elders feel needed will help their psychological wellbeing. It is not easy growing old; we will all realise one day!
Six years ago, when I introduced myself, grandmas said that they found it difficult to remember my name. However, in the last four years, the emotional support that I continue to receive from them personally is priceless. I love the way they now pronounce my name. They do not notice my Indian appearance or accent anymore.
Grandmas text if they don’t see me and give me the best hugs and kisses every week. “We love you!” they say unanimously. I receive flowers, handwritten cards, and handmade presents from them. One such priceless present I received was from a grandma who passed away. She gifted all the animal soft toys that she knit with love and precision to me, when she knew that she was no longer going to be with us physically.
Most of all, Grandma’s comfort, care, and genuinely give me the right advice and strength to face life with hope and positivity. I have learnt to appreciate the value of time, good health, positive social interactions, and live a life with gratitude through their words and actions.
One kind word, one smile, one hello, one gesture, one initiative, one effort to connect can transform our lives for the better.
Take a chance…I did, and I still look forward to seeing my grandmas on Tuesdays.
Afterall, we are all part of a COME-UNITY, not GO-UNITY.
